Here I am, minding my own business on the computer, when I see something walking up the wall RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME.
Biggest fucking spider ever. Everyone is pretty much asleep in my house, so I had to go into warrior mode to kill this motherfucker. I smashed it with a shoe found, but I don’t believe anything is dead until I see a body, so lo and behold, the fucking body is gone, which means one of two things: It’s still alive incognito until it wants to kill me or it’s dead body is somewhere on my computer desk for me to find. Both of these options mean instant death for me, so I had to hunt down the body. After a few minutes of searching, the fucker’s dead body is on the fucking keyboard and I had to get my brother to come clean it up, because sure shit I’m not touching the fucking thing.
Ughh fuckkkk I do not fuck with spiders, that’s the last thing I want within a 3 centimeter radius of me. Put me in a pit of snakes and I would be completely content, but put a spider within my eyesight and I will lose my shit.